So I figured that I would add a section of outtakes, pieces that didn’t make the final cut for the blog posts. I literally just thought of this while editing Dance With My Father, Period so there anything from previous stuff will be missing. It’s just an insight into the thoughts that go into writing a piece, sometimes it’s where my mood was that day or during that period of my life. Obviously w this will be a living document, as I write a new piece, I will post the scraps up here…
Yeah!…I said it, THAT Son of a B#@ch, this is how I feel in this moment, how dare you ignore me, how dare you tell me i’m not worthy, how dare you discard me like I am not worth your time and effort.
It’s gotten so bad in our communities that being a good dad is just “being” i.e. just being present, that’s NOT good enough!
Personally I have cried many times at the thought that my father didn’t want me, propelled me to want to be the ultimate father, maybe even to a fault….take solace in the fact that I maybe tried too hard to be the perfect father than to never have tried..
during those moments of quiet reflection.
I say this because we have to be mindful of the words we use around and towards our kids. I say this because we have to be mindful of the way we talk to our kids.
Do we bury bad comments lying just below the surface waiting to come out whenever there’s a threat of self doubt. Where do they go, we always seem able to recall all the positive feedback we get but what about the negative
Or is it like a see-saw, one side looking to outweigh the other. Considering everybody gets down at times I would tend to think yes.
Oftentimes a persons self worth is not so much “self” worth but what we believe people think of us either by what they actually say, reading in between the lines or what we think they think of us.
Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people… listen to positive content
Lift your child up, Cameron’s song
In fact I would even go so far as to say I would allow even encourage him to fall but my words will always pick him up.
Affirmations, we’ll get to those in the near future
You can choose to be happy, glass half full analogy. Think about what is something that always cheers you up, think about your favorite Sports team and the euphoria of a win or feeling down when they lose. You have no control over that outcome so why allow it to control you. Possible but takes discipline, practice and repetition. Replace with something more meaningful
There was a study conducted by a Japanese researcher Dr. Masaru Emoto on the effects of thought and the spoken word on water. The study showed that speaking bad created distorted molecules and positive words created beautiful molecules. This was debunked by some, now I personally don’t know but I do know how my words sometimes affect my son.
But names will never hurt us, oh but they will and they in fact never truly heal whereas recovery from a broken arm can lead to the life of a big league pitcher. The effects of a “you’re not good enough” may lead to the life of a recreational league star with the million dollar fastball.
may break my bones but names will never hurt me…
not necessarily the “well, I kiss my teeth and my little guy does it too” it’s a lot deeper than that, it’s the stuff that we often don’t see because we are running on autopilot. Let’s face it, if mummy and daddy are working a 9 to 5, you are running on auto-pilot the vast majority of the time.
Essentially my responsibility should be to teach him morals, values, work ethic and to love the person that he is and trust me there’s a lot more to that but it’s a fluid situation. Fluid as in, I’m still learning about myself much more what it takes to raise another human. On top of that there’s the stages of his development that we have yet to reach. ———————————————————————beliefs on them although subconsciously we do. You’ve lived through life experiences and now you’re basically programming your fears, beliefs, prejudices and thoughts into this little mind because, well I experienced and learnt this from this so I’ll pass it down, is it necessarily the right thing to do?
Issue often rears it’s
Raising my son with open mind, literally. ..he’s free to be who and what he wants to be but you have to draw the line at some point, no?
Watching show, boys and girls wanted toys associated with other gender.
Realized I had done that. .
Probably still would, my natural inclination. …new generation, at what point do we stop?
Conscious of, word I throw around a lot. ..
There’s probably a lot of people as now adults who believe in something just because it was taught to them by their parents not necessarily because that is what they themselves believe.
Project our insecurities, prejudices and beliefs onto our kids
Much like this blog, the show inspires thought and conversation. Once we are conscious of our world’s perception it enables us to look at the world differently and perhaps shed some of the subconscious programming that we have but don’t necessarily resonate with anymore.
Cameron often puts on moms shoes, wants to put on lipstick, paint nails. Should I allow it, am I being a bad parent by not allowing it, only in the house. Even that itself sends mixed messages.
have proved loa without even realizing it many times
To sum it up, The common theme is here is excuses ….if it matters enough, YOU FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!…
Worldstar- fight, you’re more likely to have people pull out their cellphones and start filming nowadays than want to break up a fight or try to help someone in need.
The thing is though, I am fine with that as I am aware of the impact that my action today will affect him in years to come.
skewered by negative content…. negative content ultimately makes us feel negative about ourselves.
What we consume plays a major role in the (content) of those thoughts.
Then there’s Music, which also has the same sort of impact in regards to our mental harmony. I’ve at times driven around somewhat recklessly, blasting a dancehall reggae or hip-hop track through my trunk housed 12-inch subs. This is something I would have never done in my youth or admittedly my early adult years but try putting on some classical music for a half hour or so and feel the calming presence. Not just the calming presence but scientific studies have shown that classical music can boost serotonin levels, serotonin is a neurotransmitter, involved in the transmission of nerve impulses that helps maintaining joyous feelings.
As a 70’s baby, I grew up watching Dukes of Hazard, man I used to love Daisy Duke… confederate flag, who knew?
A Tedx a day
I realize the impact that what you consume has on you, in fact, we all do.
and Personally, I remember well my wannabe thugged out days, you best believe I was not pumping classical music through those 12-inch subs in the back of my trunk. ..we have thousands of thoughts a day, most of which we cannot control if our diet is trash our thoughts will be overrun with trash.. – average of 50, 000 thoughts a day, how many of which do we control..subconscious, the subconscious is essentially controlled by diet.
One of the biggest regrets I have is not standing up and talking at the 50th wedding anniversary of my grandmother and grandfather.
As of this writing, my grandfather is slowly dying, it